September 7

Song of Songs 5:1-8:14; 2 Corinthians 9:1-15; Psalm 51:1-19; Proverbs 22:24-25           

“Love is as strong as death, as unyielding as the grave… many waters cannot quench love, rivers cannot wash it away” (Song 8:6-7).

My parents had a love story.

I never doubted the strong connection between my mom and dad. All their lives, my dad was the attentive spouse. He came home from work each day, looked for my mom and went to give her a kiss. I have no memories of my mom ever kissing my dad though I do recall that she often bathed in the afternoon and put on a clean housedress before he came home from work.

My mom was the more difficult one of the pair. She was easily offended, quickly angered, and she held a grudge. But despite this, my dad loved her. And she loved him in the ways that she could: his house was clean, his clothes were ironed, his lunch was ready for him to take to work each day, and a homemade meal was ready each evening. She loved him in the ways that she could.

Near the end of his life, my dad was in a nursing home and my mom was still in their home about 10 miles away. He was drifting away. And as he lay in that bed in the care facility, from their home she would get up and eat and get dressed to go the nursing home where he was. She was a bit aimless there. She didn’t have her usual supports of the kitchen, the garden—the places where she felt at home and in control. She often quarreled with the caregivers about his care. Yet she was drawn there each day because of love, love as strong as death.

Due to her oncoming dementia, their last years together had some rough moments when she became hostile toward him at times. Yet there she was, coming every day to the nursing home, to be discontent there, to fuss around when he didn’t even seem to want attention from her. Why? Love is as strong as death. She couldn’t let go of him until death claimed him.

I remember driving away from my dad’s nursing home and musing on this verse and knowing I had seen it in life.

Death is a magnet; it is drawing us unrelentingly. We cannot escape. The grave is unyielding; it will win. We cannot conquer death and the grave.

Love has the same magnetic quality. When we love someone we cannot turn away. Ask a wife whose husband has cancer. Ask a husband whose wife is dying. Love can’t give up; it won’t give up. Love is as strong as death.

May it be so in each of our marriages.

- Nell Sunukjian

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